You know you live (or have lived) in Cincinnati if . . .
a.. You know that Kahn's = "the weiner the world awaited".
b.. You know who said on Reds' broadcasts: "This is the old left-hander, rounding third and headed for home." Joe Nuxhall...still the youngest MLB player ~ 15 yrs. old.
c.. You also know who says on Reds' broadcasts: "This one belongs to the Reds." Marty Brennemen, Hall-of-Fame Broadcaster whose son, Thom, joins him in the booth for the '07 season.
d.. You were told (maybe by a grandparent) that in 1853 the Cincinnati Fire Department became the first full-time paid professional fire department in the country.
e.. You remember the Cincinnati Reds playing at Crosley Field and Riverfront Stadium.
f.. You remember the Streitman Biscuit Company... before Keebler purchased them.
g.. You remember the Midwestern Hayride.
h.. You remember shopping "downtown" at Shillitos, Pogues, and McAlpins instead of Macys and Dillards "at the mall."
i.. You know who the Cool Ghoul and Ruth Lyons were.
j.. You knew Bob Braun before he sold furniture on late night TV commercials.
k.. You can sing the "Audience wave" jingle from the "50-50 Club".
l.. Skipper Ryle was a mentor.
m.. You immediately recognize the name Brent Spence (but you may not know who he was).
n.. You know pigs do fly in Cincinnati, as can be see by four majestic winged pigs at a riverfront park in Cincinnati (formerly "Porkopolis"). Every year 1000's flock to Cincy to run in the Flying Pig marathon...the fastest growing marathon in the country.
o.. You know that the Cincinnati airport isn't even in OHIO and that the airport symbol (CVG) stands for Covington, KY!
p.. You know that Reading Road is pronounced "RED"ing (NOT REEDING).
q.. You know what bread is "Hearth-baked on stone" (Rubel's rye bread).
r.. You remember when the first "Gold Star Chili" parlor was named "Hamburger Heaven" in Mt. Washington just across the street from the old movie theater. The place served up a fine burger plus a very unusual chili and spaghetti combo. And of course, nothing tasted better than
those little hot dogs topped with chili, cheese and onions.
s.. You know who said, "I don't care about making money...I just looooove to sell carpet."
t.. You spend every weekend in SEPTEMBER going to a different OKTOBERFEST!
u.. You remember that when the Bengals last went to the Superbowl gas was $1.09/gal.
v.. You have friends, neighbors or relatives with names like Guckenberger, Hirlinger, Schottlekotte, Schraffenberger, Schoenling and other names that can relate to "Vas you ever in Zinzinnati"?
w.. You plan your summer weekends around the local parish festivals.
x.. You think the only tri-state area in the US is Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana (some say that's how Okeana got its name, but those living in the small town of the same name disagree. They say the tri-state name has nothing to do with the name of the town, even though a few "funny guys"
have said so over the years. Okeana was actually a local Native American princess and the town is named after her).
y.. During a taste test you can tell the difference between the following chilis: Skyline, Cincinnati Recipe, Empress, Gold Star, Camp Washington, Worthmore (any others?).
z.. You know how to spell our city and it's not: Cincinati, Cincinatti, Cincinnatti or Cinninati
aa.. You go to "Cookouts" not "BBQ's".
ab.. You "Warsh" your clothes!
ac.. Anytime you are asked where you graduated from, you answer - without hesitation - your high school. No one cares where you went to college.
ad.. One of your favorite summer treats is either a Black Cow or a Red Cow (using BARQS and courtesy of Uncle Al and Cap'n Windy).
ae.. You know how to "save cash with "Cash".
af.. You know a cross-town shootout isn't a big fight in the wild west, but a b-ball game between XU and UC!
ag.. You pronounce it "sin-sin-nat-tee" not "sin-sin-na-ta"
ah.. You take a leisurely summer drive through a suburban neighborhood and you see many people cornhole-ing!
ai.. You know that the Daniel Carter Beard Bridge is commonly referred to as Big Mac.
aj.. You know that Paul-baby isn't Paul Newman.
ak.. It's not Easter without Papa's cream eggs.
al.. You're at a Bob Evans restaurant watching someone put ketchup on their eggs.
am.. Instead of saying "What?" you say "Please?"
an.. You add an "s" to the end of grocery store names, such as Krogers and Meijers.
ao.. You drive on roads that change names at county lines, and roads with hyphenated names (i.e., Cincinnati-Dayton, Fields-Ertel, Hamilton-Mason, Loveland-Madeira).
ap.. You can buy beer by driving into a drive-through pole-barn.
aq.. You refer to the animal shelter/dog pound as "the SPCA", much to the bewilderment of non-Cincinnatians.
ar.. You believe LaRosa's is fine Italian dining and carry a "Buddy Card".
as.. You recognize that Anthony Munoz is a former NFL Player and not a furniture salesman.
at.. You have a strange love of GM vehicles.
au.. You remind people that Pompillios was in the movie Rainman.
av.. You can understand traffic reports which ignore road names and use phrases such as: Norwood Lateral, Cut-in-the-hill", "the Lockland split", "Five-Mile", "The S-Curve", and "Wards Corner".
aw.. Your favorite convenient store sounds like a labor union (United Dairy Farmers).
ax.. You honestly believe that Pete Rose should be in the Baseball Hall of Fame.
ay.. You miss Marge Schott (God rest her soul).
az.. It doesn't seem weird to you that everyone has an Uncle Al.
ba.. Your favorite Coney Island isn't in New York.
bb.. You like Nick Clooney better than George Clooney.
bc.. You know how Jerry Springer got his start.
bd.. You know what a Pony Keg is.
be.. You know what brats and metts are (i.e QUEEN CITY SAUSAGE) and you've probably tasted goetta (GLIER'S!!).
bf.. You know that Cherokee Motors was located at 7505 Vine (where Paddock meets Vine at the big Indian sign). NOW OWNED BY SANDY'S BRO-IN-LAW, BARRY RICHMAN AND IT'S CALLED MOTORTIME AUTO SALES!
bg.. An all-boys or all-girls school doesn't seem that odd to you. There's probably one in your neighborhood, and maybe you even went to it.
bh.. You think a mixed marriage is when an East-Sider marries a West-Sider.
bi.. You know the difference between Hudy and "Who Dey".
bj.. You know what cream ale is, and you think that cream soda should be bright red (BARQS!).
bk.. You can visit California, Lebanon, Moscow, Wyoming, and go Over-the-Rhine ... all in the same day
Sunday, April 8
You know you live (or have lived) in Cincinnati if . . .